Got Sewage?

 

Yes, I’d think by now that if you follow my blog, you are under the impression that my life is very similar to most. The only difference being that I blog about it. Blogging about the funny, the crazy, the wild, and the downright shitty moments helps me to vent a bit and I hope that with some of my stories, you are not only able to relate, but get a little laugh from time to time too.

 

Here goes for today:

 

For the past two weeks, as I tuck myself peacefully into my bed, I have been smelling this awful foul smell. Naturally, I blamed it on my husband. I actually woke him up in the middle of the night a couple nights ago when the stench was so overpowering and asked him if he had gas. He assured me he didn’t and told me to ‘leave him the hell alone’. I laid in bed all night with my nostrils stuffed so deeply into my pillow that I nearly suffocated that night…I think. (I’m pretty sure I suffer from hypochondria so my ‘suffocation’ could have just been over dramatized.)

 

It got so bad that I started putting doTERRA essential oils under my nostrils at night and lit a candle just so I could sleep peacefully at night in our bedroom that smelled like the sewage treatment center. (This is no joke, I honestly was about to haul my ass to sleep on the couch due to the overpowering stench.) It was so bad, I did some investigating but couldn’t find anything. No hidden dog poops in our room, no clogged toilet, just an AWFUL, AWFUL, AWFUL smell!

 

Welp, last night we had just tucked Haydan in for bed and Justin had started a load of laundry. All of a sudden, the toilet bowls start making this bubbling sound. We walk into the first bathroom and to our surprise, there is sewage spilling into our bathtub. We flush the toilet (like idiots) and it continues to fill up the bathtub.

 

 

Just then, we start to hear the same noise in the master bathroom. We walk in there and notice that the shower in the master is now filling up with sewage. ‘Wow, this is awesome. I mean really, could this be any greater?!’ I said to Justin. He was NOT at all enamored by my humor in that moment.

 

Justin heads outside to unplug the sewer cap near our rose garden and, I shit you not, about 10 gallons of backed up sewage comes flying out the sewer cap. I am inside watching through the bathroom window laughing hysterically. I realize that this situation sucks for me too, however, it is pretty funny and sometimes laughing is a much easier response than crying/screaming/freaking out…or, well, at least it is in my own personal case.

 

 

 

I decided to tread out there so I could snap a pic of this shit storm. It was dark, really dark. Justin said ‘Watch your step….’ and just as he said that, i did this:

 

This is where the laughing stopped. Well, on my part—not Justin’s. Brand new flip flops—-covered in muddy sewage sludge. AWESOME. This is where Justin’s laughing became as obnoxious as I’m sure mine was just moments earlier. Just as Justin is mid: ‘I’m laughing at you because you’re an asshole and karma is a bitch’ mode, we suddenly noticed there were a ton of BUBBLES coming out of the sewage cap. ‘Why the fuck are there bubbles and suds coming out of the side of our house?’ I asked him. ‘OH SHT!!! I HAVE THE WASHING MACHINE ON!!’ Justin replied. HA!! HA! HAA!!

 

We run back inside and see that the washing machine is overflowing with water and bubbles because the water apparently has no where to go.

 

Apparently, our plumbing is effed’. Everywhere. We hear the noise coming from the bathrooms again **bubble** gurrgle** bubble** and we run in to see this: Bubbles flowing out of the toilet and the tub…hahahaha

 

 

I get to hang out with a bunch of plumbers for the day. I’m avoiding all fiber today in hopes I don’t have to use the bathroom until this little situation of ours is fixed.

 

So, there is a mid-week story to make you laugh, make you cringe, make you feel less alone in the chaos of life. You’re welcome.

Happy Thursday!

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