There are a lot of amazing qualities I love about you. I have decided to highlight twelve of them in a very romantical love blog-post. You are welcome.
1. I love that you bring me toilet paper when we/I run out. To be honest, a lot of times I notice that we are out of toilet paper before I sit down to pee. However, I still sit down because I know you will bring me a new roll…cause you’re good like that…and I have a small bladder.
2. I love that you are sympathetic to my Netflix disorder. I know I have a problem and I swear that I don’t love Netflix more than you. It’s a completely equal balance of love between you and Netflix.
3. I love that you didn’t sell the dog when he peed on your pillow.
4. I love that you pretend to love all my dinosaur birthday cards/Father’s Day cards/Valentine’s Day cards/I love you like a dinosaur cards/etc.
5. I love that you wear boxers and not man panties. Man panties freak me out. Please don’t ever wear man panties.
6. I love that you teach Barb Jr. the in’s and out’s of old-school hip hop. Barb is probably the only child in the first grade who is familiar with ‘Devin the Dude’. Also, likely the one 7 year-old- who can correctly rap the lyrics ‘White castle fries only come in one size’ like a true Beastie Boy’s member.
7. I love that you have accepted the fact that my car will never has gas in it. I also appreciate the fact that you know why the car starts beeping weird noises at me telling me to fill up the tires. To be honest, I know what it means, I just think you are better suited for the job. I’m pretty sure you’d agree with me on this one…
8. Thank-you for trying to understand my Amazon purchases. I know that we are on the same page when I explain the completely logical explanation as to why I purchased an emergency cell phone charger for all the times we’ve never been camping.
9. I love that you allow me to take up 99.8% of the closet space. Really, that just spells out a good man. Or, a smart one.
10. I appreciate that you try your best to understand my affinity for dinosaurs. I am also grateful that you agreed that spending $38.00 on a dinosaur necklace was a smart purchase. Well, sort of. Not really.
11. I love that when you do laundry, you make little piles for my underpants. More so, that you have no judgement about my granny underwear. That is love.
12. I love that you still love me when I slack in between threading/waxing sessions. I’m sorry that my stubble rubs against yours when you lean in for a big hairy Smash smooch.
Good man you are, Barb the Dude.
Barb Altemate Senior