Welp, I was scanning my e-mail last night (looking for that much anticipated e-mail that I’ve won the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes) and came across an article from Circle of Mom’s called 10 Signs Your Child Is Spoiled
I immediately started laughing. I was certain that Haydan would hit the nail on the head for each and EVERY one of the points they referenced. Sure enough, it was pretty close. Or, should I say…something popped in my head for nearly every point they referenced, so I decided to share my rambling thoughts with you:
You Can Read the Original Circle of Mom’s Article Here: 10 Signs Your Child Is Spoiled
1. She Throws Tantrums, Often:
While Haydan isn’t a big ‘tantrum thrower’ seeing she is over the age of 3, she definitely lets us know her thoughts on things when they go against her will. Yesterday it was a breakdown because I told her ‘no’ to a much desired ice-cream pit stop on the way home from school.
Haydan: ’WHAT!!!!?? WHY!?!?!?!’
Me: Uhm, because you had ice cream last night with Papa and subsequently ate an entire box of mini ice cream cones on top of that. If you keep that up, you’ll be in a diabetic coma before you know it.
Haydan: ***CRY*** WHINE***WAH**
Me: That’s enough, keep this whining crap up and I’ll never feed you another gram of sugar again. MARK. MY. WORDS. WOMAN.
Haydan: You are the meanest person EVER!
Me: Yeah? Be more original! I’ve heard that before. Talk to the hand cause the face don’t wanna hear it! (Alright, so I didn’t say that last part but now looking back, I wish I would have.)
Haydan: So you’re telling me **weep** **sob** that I’ll NEVER **cry** have ice cream again!?!
Me: Slow your roll, kid. I didn’t say that–I am trying to tell ya, you need to lay off the sugar.
2. She Isn’t Ever Satisfied:
I try daily to remind her that I am, in fact, VERY cool and that she should definitely be taking fashion advice from me rather than throwing it in my face. She is never satisfied with my *awesome* options of outfits, shoe choices, even picking out socks and headbands– I apparently suck at. I’ve pretty much stopped shopping for her. If you see us out and about, she will likely be in her school uniform (that she has to wear and we have to buy) or an outfit that is too small. I am tired of spending money on clothes she never wears. Done, over it! I used to care what she wore–not anymore, folks!
3. She Isn’t Helpful:
Me: Haydan, can you please clean your room?
Haydan: Nope, I am really busy at the moment.
Me: Clean your room or you will clean MINE & YOURS.
Haydan: You’re nuts, I’m not cleaning my room and I’m definitely not cleaning yours!
This happened last week. Wanna know what I did? I grabbed three trash bags and dumped all over her toys into them (ALL OF HER TOYS) and threw them in the trash (a.k.a. hid them in the garage.)
Her helpfulness took a wild turn after that little adventure of mine. Ah, it was so great. All my threats of doing it and this time actually following through—it was so liberating. I think she got my point after a couple days. I unveiled the trash bags a few days later from the garage and we sat together and went through the toys she wanted and the ones she didn’t, we donated to charity. It was a great opportunity for me to explain where these toys would be going and what a fortunate little girl she is. She wanted to throw her money from her piggy bank in there too but I told her that her toy donation was good enough for now. She actually has a heart of gold. We completed the #icebucketchallenge the other night and she offered to write a check from her own bank account to pay for her contribution of $10.00 when I explained the idea behind the challenge, what it was for, and who it helped.
To Witness the #icebucketchallenge by Ashley & Haydan ‘Princess Style’:
4. She Tries to Control Adults:
I cannot tell you how far my mother is wrapped around her finger. My father too, for that matter. I pulled up to my parents to pick her up a couple weeks ago and she was jump roping and guess who was at either end of the jumprope? MY PARENTS—-dripping in sweat. Apparently, they had been doing that non-stop the entire 3 days they had spent with her. Not including the time my mother had spent taking her mini-golfing per Haydan’s request, purchased her a new set of swimming goggles, a new doll, and a bunch of other crap that Haydan insisted to my mother that was 100% necessary for her to live a ‘happy life’. Haydan is currently in negotiations with my dad as to how to get him to buy her an iPad. I blame this completely on him and my mom seeing that they both have iPads and 90% of the apps on their iPads are Haydan related.
5. She Frequently Embarrasses You In Public:
Well, this one is a total wash seeing that both Haydan and I embarrass Justin equally in public. I used to do this thing called ‘Squishy Bum, Squishy Bum’ where I used to squeeze her adorable little behind when she was little and say ‘Squishy Bum! Squishy Bum!’. Oddly enough, this tradition, if you will, has continued into her 4th, 5th, 6th and soon to be 7th year of life. Now, it is no longer a one-sided tradition, she does it to me too. We will be standing in line at Target and Haydan will squeeze my bum and scream ‘SQUISHY BUM!!! SQUISHY BUM!!’ I am so used to it by this point that it doesn’t phase me—Justin–well…. not so much. He usually just udders under his breath in a scary dad voice ‘INAPPROPRIATE!!!!!! BOTH OF YOU!!!’ I’ve never really thought about how strange this must look to other people… up until this point….hmm. Not to mention our impromptu dance sessions we have in random places at any given moment. Again, this one is a wash. We are equally embarrassing….
6. She Wont Share:
Haydan has actually taken it to severely secretive measure to ensure that no one will get to her ‘super special’ things when we have other children over at our home. She actually went and DUG OUT a toy she didn’t want a friend to play with that they would have never otherwise found and had me hide it in the linen cabinet. I swear to you, I’ve taught her the whole ‘sharing is caring’ mantra that they instill in you at a young age. She is an only-child thus far, so—-yeah. My fault I suppose.
7. You Have To Beg Her:
hahahaha!! I wish I had an audio/video of me trying to do Haydan’s hair in the morning.
Me: AWWW. Let’s put this bow in your hair—SO CUTE!
Haydan: That is NOT CUTE. You wear it.
Me: Okay, perfect, I’ll wear it! (Trying to turn the tables–if I want to wear it, surely she will too!? NOPE!)
Haydan: Good for you. You look FAB! I’m outta here!
Me: PLEASEEEE HAYDAN!!! Your hair looks as though you’ve been through a cyclone!!! Please let me tame the beast. Pretty please!!!
8. She Ignores You:
ha. This one is great. Rather than ‘ignoring’ me, she plays that annoying ‘Copy-Cat’ game where she repeats everything back to you.
Ashley: Haydan, please eat your dinner.
Haydan: Ashley, please eat your dinner.
Justin: Damnit Haydan! Eat your dinner!
Haydan: Damnit Justin! Eat your dinner!
Ashley & Justin: DO YOU WANT A SPANKING?!
Haydan: No, DO YOU TWO WANT A SPANKING?!
Ashley: We don’t use bad language/words, Haydan!
Haydan: Uh, Yes, YOU DO.
9. She Won’t Play Alone
This is one Haydan passes at. She is a great little independent player.
10. You Have to Bribe Her:
There are far too many examples of bribery in our family. The cliche ones like eating your dinner and being allowed dessert, getting good grades and receiving a new Barbie, however, my all time favorite bribe was a roller coaster bribe. Haydan was TERRIFIED to get on the Crazy Mouse at the Del Mar Fair and I bribed her with chocolate covered bacon. She hated it and swore she never would do it again and then subsequently, the bacon was covered in dark chocolate (her and I both hate dark chocolate) and she hated that too. So really, this one was a win for me.
I think we all spoil our children in some fashion or another. However, this article has me thinking that I can shape up in some areas. As I’ve told you time and time before, my goal is to NOT turn my child into an asshole. That is all I am shooting for—a healthy, ‘unique’ (like her mother), non-asshole child, and one day, a non-asshole adult.
This was fun. Happy Hump Day Folks.
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