WELP, THE DAY HAS COME!
Something that a gaggle of people have been working incredibly hard on has come to fruition!
I AM IN A BOOK!
I don’t know about you, but I find that shit pretttttty impressive. I woke up this morning and gave myself a pat on the back. Now, I am high-fiving all my internet sisters who worked incredibly hard on Crystal Ponti’s new book, Only Trollops Shave Above The Knee: The Crazy, Brilliant, and Unforgettable Lessons We’ve Learned from Our Mothers.
The book is a collection of authors sharing different stories about lessons they learned from their mother. I guarantee you, it does not disappoint!
I’ll give you a little sneak peek into my portion of the anthology…
Was That On Sale?
I think the first word to drop out of my mouth as a baby was ‘SALE’. I’m fairly certain that my mother’s frugal tendencies were programmed into my brain at the time of conception.
As a young child, I remember roaming through store clearance racks and popping out to scare the shit out of my mother and grandmother. My childlike behavior was quickly corrected and I was trained and overly educated about the beauty of a ‘sale’. I knew what the yellow tags meant, the green tags, and for the love of all things holy, what the RED tag meant. Red tags were the heavy hitters. Red tags translating to: FIRE SALE; an already discounted item that was now reduced by an even larger percentage—AKA the jackpot of sales.
By grade-school, I was well on the ‘clearance bandwagon’ with my mother and would hunt for deals with her each weekend.
New school shoes? We had that shit covered.
Broken crockpot? BAM! 50% off coupon plus an early bird doorbuster sale!
My mother and I were on.top.of.it. We made the best mother-daughter doorbuster duo.
I was the only kid in the 3rd grade who could tell you where to buy an entire Cornishware dish-set for under $40.00….
This book is chalk full of amazing stories and lessons detailed by some of the most talented writers. I am so honored to be in in their company with my little story tucked neatly between several beautiful others.
You can purchase the book today, our release day(!!), both hard copy and kindle on Amazon:
Affiliate Link
And, I have even better news! Seeing I am a hoarder, I ordered a few extra hard copies of the book! SO, one of you lucky buddies of mine will win a hard copy.
To Enter:
– Leave me a comment with a lesson your mother taught you
– Put your FIRST & LAST name in your comment
That’s it!
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Barb and I will pull a winner on Sunday May 10th!
However, if you cannot wait to get your hands on a copy, you can always go and order now!
And please, don’t forget, click the banner below to give Smash a VOTE!
I can hardly wait to read the rest of your story, what a great premise for a book! My mother taught me to fight tooth and nail and never give up… When I learned the bleak prognosis of her stage 4 metastatic breast cancer diagnosis, I couldn’t understand why she had let me believe she had a hope in hell. But to the bitter end, she would not accept that she was dying, even when the doctor told me right in front of her that they were discontinuing chemo. I will never stop fighting because of her. I will never lose hope!
Just in time for Mother’s Day…this is perfect!! I hate when I realize on a near-daily basis how right my mom has actually been all this time. Am I going to admit that to her? You bet I’m not! But I think she already knew that anyways… Thank you for the laughs, as always!
Congrats lady! You absolutely deserve it and I am so excited for you. Can’t wait to read it!
My clean-freak mother taught me that my house is not officially clean until I’ve wiped the floorboards on my hands and knees.
My taught me to always tell the truth.
My Mother taught me to always tell the truth.
my mother taught me that household chores can wait…baby snuggles are more important and how the simplest things we do for our children can be the most memorable.
My mother taught me that I will be paid back for the hell I put her through. Boy was she right and I get it double!!! Lol
Amanda Sammons
It doesn’t hurt to say I’m sorry. Holding grudges doesn’t do anyone any good. Forgiveness speaks in volumes. God made dirt, and dirt don’t hurt.
I love my mommy ♡
This is so awesome! Yay Ashley!!!!! One of the favorite lessons is that “things could always be worse, you just have to look for it.” My aunt once left a message for a carpenter that she had been trying to get ahold of for weeks and she thought she hung up before she said “I left a message again. This asshole is never calling back” but then realized she hadn’t pressed END yet!! Upon telling us the story, my mom said, “well, it could’ve been worse!” My aunt and I looked at her and asked, “how?!?!” Without missing a beat, she said, “you could’ve called him a FUCKING asshole.” So indeed….things could always be worse
My mother taught me that one man’s garbage is another man’s treasure. When I was growing up, Saturday was landfill day. We would take a load to drop off and bring a load back. Table with a wobbly leg? She could fix that! Chair with a torn seat? She could fix that, too! To this day (I am 47 now), I still cannot pass a garage/yard sale, thrift store, or even a pile of stuff sitting by the edge of a driveway without just about breaking my neck to see if there’s anything I can fix up, either to keep, gift, or sell. I usually manage to NOT stop only because I know better than to carry cash anymore! LOL