We live in a neighborhood where the majority of our neighbors are 80+ years. Honestly, I’m not certain how we were allowed into the community as it seems more like a ’55+ neighborhood’. There are many things that we notice that validate this point: very slow driving in our neighborhood (slow as in– my child could beat them to the end of the corner on her bicycle with two off-centered training wheels), and all our old little neighbors walking their pomeranians, dachshunds, etc. Why is it that all old people have small lap dogs?
It feels like we see an estate sign sale every other weekend. Literally, we’ve had two neighbors die and two subsequent estate sales in the past 5 weeks. My husband jokes that by the time we move out, if we went to every estate sale in our neighborhood, we’d have collected enough to furnish an entire home.
That really freaks me out; the whole estate sale/a.k.a. ‘dead people’s stuff’, it really gives me the heebie jeebies.
My mother-in-law is a huge estate sale fan. She constantly asks us things our home is in need of— just in case she sees something we might be looking for.
My thought has always been: Estate sales creep me the hell out!
Think about it- It is dead peoples stuff that you are buying.
On Saturday, my husband, Justin, informed me that we couldn’t back the car out of the driveway because there were so many cars parked in our neighborhood for an estate sale happening two doors down.
Justin: Let’s go over and check it out!
Me: SCREW THAT. You know my feelings on dead peoples stuff. It creeps me out.
Justin: You never know, maybe they have some Le Creuset cooking dishes!
He knows Le Creuset is my favorite and furthermore, knew that was the best thing to say to get me to go. Le Creuset is EFFIN’ EXPENSIVE!
Me: Fine. I will LOOK… That’s it.
So, off we were…on our way to the dead persons house to rummage through their treasures. We walked in and saw so many amazing things. Beautiful china collections, U.S. Navy engraved silver platters, so much Navy memorabilia, it made me sad. I told Justin I wanted to leave….then I saw the jewelry counter….
…..and something caught my eye…
…..a beautiful gold Seiko watch! The little old lady must have had freakishly tiny wrists (like me) because the watch fit. My cheap tendencies/love for a good deal and my hard core feelings on estate sales fought each other back and forth in my head.
I gave the watch back to the lady manning the jewelry counter while I pondered and made my way into the deceased little old lady’s closet. Justin and our daughter, ‘Barb Marley’, stayed behind looking at the jewelry. Naturally, my six-year-old had no reservations about sifting through a deceased person’s belongings, particularly, jewelry. Shocker!
I entered the closet and delicately sifted through this woman’s clothing. She must have been very tiny. I suppose most people are pretty small before they pass away.
My Grannie is 96 years-of-age and weighs approximately 94lbs. I wonder why you shrink with age…? Too bad that doesn’t happen in your 30’s/40’s. I wouldn’t mind shrinking from time to time…especially after the holiday season.
Everything was ‘Petite’ or size 2. And then I found it…..a beautiful, tweed-like, Christian Dior blazer. It was amazing. I took it out of the closet and looked it over. I could still smell the ‘little old lady smell’ on the jacket and that made me sad again. However, I put that aside. I continued to remind myself that this is life, the circle of life—-what people do when they die—have companies come in and sell their stuff.
My heart sunk but I tried the jacket on. You could tell she had taken great care of her belongings. It fit like a glove and I immediately pictured all the great outfits I could coordinate with it while my body was quickly filling with guilt thinking of all the memories she had probably created while wearing that blazer.
((Just then, my husband pops in with our daughter in tow…))
Justin: AHA!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! You like that jacket, don’t you?!?!
Me: Ugh, YES. AND THIS DRESS TOO!!!
Justin: You must now be fine with the whole ‘buying dead people’s stuff’ concept as I see you are WEARING the little old lady’s jacket!!?
Me: I know. I am a hypocrite. IT’S CHRISTIAN DIOR!! AND ONLY $8.00!
Justin: Then buy it!!!
Me: I don’t know if I can do it..…It really goes against my..…..Do you have cash?!
Justin: You’re ridiculous. You can find a way to spend money ANYWHERE. Even when it goes against you ‘beliefs’ or whatever the hell you were just about to say. Yes, I have cash, but these types of things accept credit cards, too.
Me: What?! This feels so wrong…..but this jacket is really bad ass.
Justin: Looks great, buy it, let’s go.
Me: Smell it—smells like old people….
Justin: No! You are so weird, Ashley! LETS GO. Get the jacket, get the dress, go back and get the watch—Our child now has a new piece of jewelry apparently, too—get your hypocrite ass moving and lets go.
So here I am. Writing to inform you all that:
A) I am a hypocrite.
B.) I am now the proud new owner of an awesome vintage Christian Dior tweed blazer, a cute green dress, and an adorable little old lady watch…
Feel free to stop following my blog…seeing me and my new hypocrite ways. I’ll probably be an executive board member of Monsanto by tomorrow morning…chowing down on a bag of MSG laced Doritos. Ugh.
Don’t Forget- A Click is a Vote for Me!