File this under as: “Stupid Shit NOT To Do”
My little one, Haydan, lost a tooth at school on Monday. I picked her up from school and she was practically vibrating! To lose a tooth is a pretty big deal at her age, but to lose a tooth at school, well, that just takes the whole tooth-loss to an entirely different level.
First, you get to announce at the top of your lungs that you lost your tooth! All your friends apparently crowd around you as you show off that shiny gem while you gleam with pride. Each child examines the tooth, then checks out the new hole in your head and everyone ‘ohhhhhs’ and ‘ahhhhhs’.
Next up is a trip to the nurse’s office where they have you gargle with salt water (which I heard far too many details about from my young one- ‘THERE WAS BLOOD!!! LOTS AND LOTS OF BLOOD!!!’) and then the nurse gives you your choosing of a special tooth treasure box to take your sacred body party home with you. Naturally, choosing the color of the tooth treasure box was the most complicated part but thankfully, Haydan landed on pink and called it a day.
We talked about the tooth all the way back to the car and discussed, in full detail, about the tooth loss experience and the Tooth Fairy. We hopped in the car and I quickly realized I didn’t have any cash in my wallet. Furthermore, I knew my husband, Justin, wouldn’t have any cash in his wallet as my child is a cash swiper. Yes, something we should likely work on….
I had a business bank deposit that I had planned on making on the way back home but didn’t know how I would swing ‘cash back’ without her noticing. She is already questioning me about Santa, I’d like to hang on to the Tooth Fairy thing for what little time I likely have left. She is quite perceptive, that child of mine.
I thought about it and as we were walking into the bank I had, what I thought at the time, was a GREAT idea. I would grab a deposit slip and write a note to the teller on the back that I needed cash back in ones and fives!
BRILLIANT! I KNOW!!!!
I completed my business transaction and then slid him this note:
Yep. I did that. I slid him this note, a harmless note that seemed like no big deal….until I slipped it across to the teller like a creepy bank robber.
His face read a brief look of horror, just for a quick second. In that moment, I realized ‘HOLY FUCK! WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?!?’
The teller read the note and said “Oh, sure, sure, uhm, no problem…” as beads of sweat were surely dripping down his back.
I perked up: “Well, that probably wasn’t my most brilliant thought-out plan, eh?”
He did one of those laughs where you can tell that the person just wants you to run away, FAST.
I apologized for coming across as a bank robber and laughed and laughed.
Him? Not so much.
I thanked him and went on my merry way…greatly anticipating the SWAT team to meet my daughter, her treasure-boxed tooth, and I in the parking lot.
Thankfully that didn’t happen—but now you know, don’t slip tellers notes at the bank, not even if your wallet lacks fives and ones for the Tooth Fairy. The embarrassment, the bank teller’s horror, and potential arrest is not worth it.
My suggestion? Stop by the gas station after dinner, alone, and grab cash back that way. Not remotely as creepy and surely less likely to get you arrested.
You are welcome.
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