File this under as: “Stupid Shit NOT To Do”
My little one, Haydan, lost a tooth at school on Monday. I picked her up from school and she was practically vibrating! To lose a tooth is a pretty big deal at her age, but to lose a tooth at school, well, that just takes the whole tooth-loss to an entirely different level.
First, you get to announce at the top of your lungs that you lost your tooth! All your friends apparently crowd around you as you show off that shiny gem while you gleam with pride. Each child examines the tooth, then checks out the new hole in your head and everyone ‘ohhhhhs’ and ‘ahhhhhs’.
Next up is a trip to the nurse’s office where they have you gargle with salt water (which I heard far too many details about from my young one- ‘THERE WAS BLOOD!!! LOTS AND LOTS OF BLOOD!!!’) and then the nurse gives you your choosing of a special tooth treasure box to take your sacred body party home with you. Naturally, choosing the color of the tooth treasure box was the most complicated part but thankfully, Haydan landed on pink and called it a day.
We talked about the tooth all the way back to the car and discussed, in full detail, about the tooth loss experience and the Tooth Fairy. We hopped in the car and I quickly realized I didn’t have any cash in my wallet. Furthermore, I knew my husband, Justin, wouldn’t have any cash in his wallet as my child is a cash swiper. Yes, something we should likely work on….
I had a business bank deposit that I had planned on making on the way back home but didn’t know how I would swing ‘cash back’ without her noticing. She is already questioning me about Santa, I’d like to hang on to the Tooth Fairy thing for what little time I likely have left. She is quite perceptive, that child of mine.
I thought about it and as we were walking into the bank I had, what I thought at the time, was a GREAT idea. I would grab a deposit slip and write a note to the teller on the back that I needed cash back in ones and fives!
BRILLIANT! I KNOW!!!!
I completed my business transaction and then slid him this note:
Yep. I did that. I slid him this note, a harmless note that seemed like no big deal….until I slipped it across to the teller like a creepy bank robber.
His face read a brief look of horror, just for a quick second. In that moment, I realized ‘HOLY FUCK! WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?!?’
The teller read the note and said “Oh, sure, sure, uhm, no problem…” as beads of sweat were surely dripping down his back.
I perked up: “Well, that probably wasn’t my most brilliant thought-out plan, eh?”
He did one of those laughs where you can tell that the person just wants you to run away, FAST.
I apologized for coming across as a bank robber and laughed and laughed.
Him? Not so much.
I thanked him and went on my merry way…greatly anticipating the SWAT team to meet my daughter, her treasure-boxed tooth, and I in the parking lot.
Thankfully that didn’t happen—but now you know, don’t slip tellers notes at the bank, not even if your wallet lacks fives and ones for the Tooth Fairy. The embarrassment, the bank teller’s horror, and potential arrest is not worth it.
My suggestion? Stop by the gas station after dinner, alone, and grab cash back that way. Not remotely as creepy and surely less likely to get you arrested.
You are welcome.
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This post cracked me up. You were so sweet and innocent. It is sad that we live in a world where this is an issue. Glad that it worked out for you and Barb. I almost wrote a post about a bank robbery in my hometown last week. Ironic huh? I was going to tie it to strategy and planning. In short, the Robber, robbed a bank 2 streets down from the police station, then took a cab to the train to escape. The trains haven’t been running on schedule here in MA due to the massive amount of snow. Not a well planned out strategy. I definitely could tie this to my business, but I opted out against writing my post. I didn’t want to enable the bank robbers with the correct way to rob a bank…lol.
TOOK A CAB!!!! OMG!! What an idiot. Definitely not the best escape plan. LOL. I have been watching FAR too much prison break lately…woah. hahahahah
omg.. I am dying laughing! This sounds like something i would do!
Alternate Title: “Is the Tooth Fairy a Bank Robber?”
I found this hilarious, and now the teller has a story to, well, tell.
hahahaha I TOTALLY should have gone with that title!!! LOL!!
Bwahahahaha! This made me laugh so hard, because I can just see it playing out! I have to say, I’d be like WTFF if I was a bank teller, too. But I say that to just about everything so… 🙂
Yeah..it was PRETTY bad. lol
lol. Yeah, not exactly what a bank teller would want to see. I bet they were relieved after they read it.
Haha, oh man! I can only imagine what he was thinking. But still, a woman rubbing her bank with her child in tow? That would be pretty ballsy!
LOL! This is how I will be arrested someday too. Because I think no one can possibly think I’m a criminal I’m going to do something like this. My fake halo that I imagine is over my head will be no excuse.
buahahah! We can sit in prison together! lol
I am an ex-bank teller too and that story cracked! me! up! As poor choice bank stories go, I can do you one better….my daughter at 14 months old accidentally pulled FOUR of the silent alarms in quick succession at the bank I worked for when she and my husband came to get me for lunch. No one thought about her wandering around because she had been coming since 6 weeks old. Because four were pulled, it bypassed the alarm company and went straight to law enforcement. The swat team DID come and surrounded the building. It was a total fiasco….but luckily my boss was awfully gracious about it. Although, four years later I was still getting grief about it.
OH MY GOSH!!!! NO WAY!!!! hahahaha. That must have been SO horrifying!! However, I bet looking back on it now, you get a good laugh. lol!!