As some of you know, my family and I took a vacation the second half of July. It was the first vacation we’ve taken as a family that wasn’t for a wedding or a funeral- well, wait. We did go to a wedding, but, nonetheless, we took a damn vacation.
The first half of our trip was a cruise that my husband’s parents took us on. It was absolutely amazing and had us in parts of Alaska and Canada. It was lovely, and not just the new places we were able to explore, but the meals, relaxation, the ocean. It was our first real family vacation…ever.
Overall, we had a blast, but I ran into a small problem about half way through our trip: None of my pants fit.
The first day I ran into this dilemma, I blamed my womanhood.
“I must be getting my period, that has to be it!” I told myself.
But each day, my pants became tighter….and tighter.
When I came home from my vacation a week ago, NONE of my pants fit. NONE.
I decided to take a glance through my camera roll to have a peek at all the great shots I’d taken on our trip. I thought maybe I’d upload them to Costco so I could print a few….and then the dots connected…
We started our trip in Seattle the day before the cruise ship embarked. It was there that I was introduced to the MOCHA. The mocha is a few shots of espresso mixed with freshly steamed chocolate milk. Also known as: FUCKING AMAZING.
Oh, now would you look at that lovely hydrangea garden just outside the Space Needle? (Also note: my first mocha)
The next day, we were off to sea!
And, you wouldn’t believe it, but, there was alcohol EVERYWHERE! And, seeing I was on vacation, I decided to let loose. I started slowly with a lovely glass of sangria…and then two more…
And then we decided to hit up a Teppanyaki dinner the the first night to kick off our vacation, courtesy of my awesome in-laws!
And then I went to bed with a cute little critter waiting to snuggle, and woke up the next morning and found out you could have MOCHA’S in your cabin on the ship! AND chocolate-filled croissants, it was amazing!
To make matters even better, any time you were hungry, and I’m telling ya, ANY TIME, you could just pop into any spot that served food–and WAHLA! There it was for you to eat. And, they didn’t care what you looked like, if you’d showered, or were wearing yoga pants, swimsuit bottoms; they fed you regardless! I was really beginning to LOVE these people! I even pondered sailing away with them on the next trip as a deckhand just to continue this awesome 24/7 fun and food!
Even my little youngin, “Barb Marley,” was totally digging the fun and food selection on this awesome boat!
We even found a cake to celebrate….well, Barb being an American!
And THEN, we found out they made the AMAZING MOCHA in alcoholic beverage form! I dove RIGHT on in! My sister-in-law and mother-in-law, too!
And then I was hungry again! Drinking does make you hungry!
And then I felt much better, so I went and danced with my little “Barb” and the Spongebob gang…with my champagne! And let me tell ya, Barb can tear up the dance floor. She put those sea creatures TO SHAME.
And then we got to see this amazing glacier in Glacier Bay—and what do you know, there was more MOCHA! Barb even got in on the Mocha action! (Maybe sans the espresso—but, I’m not entirely certain on that one..)
It was an absolutely breathtaking trip and we had such a great trip visiting with our family, but Barb and I had more more stop to make afterwards, Vancouver for my cousins wedding! So, we bid farewell to Justin (who went back home to get back to work) and, off we went!
And, as luck would have it, my cousins wedding had insane appetizers, an AMAZING meal, and, get this–TONS of alcohol! Even MORE champagne! It was absolutely killer, and I got to see all my awesome family, all while enjoying amazing food and drinks–A LOT of drinks!
My cousin not only had a wedding cake, but a CANDY BAR with Barb and I’s FAVORITE Canadian candies!
And then my little Barb and I had to come back home…and we were a wee bit bummed…but we ate two meals on the plane ride home, so that made us feel better.
Anyways, where was I? Oh, why don’t my pants fit? Yeah, I have no idea… 😉
Let me know if Canadian washer and dryers are known to drastically shrink clothes–or maybe if you have an idea what happened to my pants, it’s just so bizarre. And, as always, pretty pretty please, if you enjoyed this post, please give the brown button below a click. It helps rank my blog and is JUST a click. That click gives your pal a lot more support than you know!
Your yoga pants still fit though, right? Because I think your other pants are just telling you that they need a vacation too, but your yoga pants are fucking work horses that want to get some overtime.
I had to buy NEW ONES. I really did. It was great. They are SO comfortable!!!
My problem is that I live all of life like I’m on vacation.
And the discovery of the mocha? You will never be the same. Just give up on zippered pants now.
HA! Love this. I’ve actually had the recent thought that my dryer shrunk all my pants. Unfortunately, I think that’s not statistically possible. 🙁
Once again very entertained by your witty and fun posts. I clicked the brown bar to vote because I like your stuff….a lot. Keep it up and just by looking at the pictures of all that deliciousness I am pretty sure mine would not have fit either. 🙂