By now we have all seen the photos of the new bundle of joy recently added to the Royal Family. Her Royal Highness, Princess Charlotte of Cambridge. Isn’t she beautiful?
Image per Twitter @KensingtonRoyal
However, what has been more discussed is the way in which Kate, Duchess of Cambridge, was dressed and beautified. I’ll admit, she looked flawless. She is stunning on any day, however, the day delivering a child from her hot pocket, wow, she looked unreal. I can’t even begin to imagine…
I feel bad that she had to birth a human and was expected to look like a runway fashion model within 15 minutes while smiling and waving to millions. Regardless, she did so with ample grace and a smile on her face, and somehow even managed to put pumps on her feet which I just cannot, for the life of me, figure out. I could hardly squeeze my sausage feet into a pair of Havaianas flip flops.
I decided to look through old photos of when my wee one was born; let’s just say, I did not look like that after birth…or any step of the journey….
Going into labor is so exciting! A wee bit nerve wracking but you are more than ready to get that watermelon out and have your body back to yourself. Eating for two is fun, but urinating, standing, walking/waddling, and sleeping for two is not.
And you look like you’ve taken a tumble in an industrial sized washer and dryer… Twice.
Your squishy, little ball of baby perfection is healthy and screaming and you are ecstatic!
You look like an 18-wheeler just came through and ran you down, backed up, and ran you over one more time–for good measure. But you don’t care, you have a muffin, a banana, something to drink….and a new human!! One who smells more delicious than any blueberry muffin on the planet.
And all you can think about is how their bodies all look abnormally small….and how you’re certain that your throbbing boobs are about to go ‘Old Faithful’ in their presence….you wonder if you might accidentally get one of them in the eye….
And you are unaware that you are flashing people full boob and partial nipple….
Like, REALLY fucking tired. So much so, you can hardly keep your eyes open for a photo.
You still LOOK PREGNANT?
WAIT, WHAT? You think to yourself..“Hmm, did they leave one in there? They had to of left one in there. What the fuck is going on????”
But no, they all tell you there are no others in what once was your new human’s home. You have just a leftover apartment building with no occupants…. which you are both happy and angry about….
Damnit, you have something to celebrate!
After a couple days, you decide to go for a walk with your new baby…
And then you see your neighbor, who you just know is just dying to see your new baby!
Instead, they ask you when you’re due.
You point to the baby and tell them “9 days ago….”
They then duck and hide every time they see you in the neighborhood after that….
But, at the end of the day, you have this awesome smelling, amazingly delicious, beautiful new human. You are reminded, that…
It was worth it. Every drop of it. And, you would do it ten times over if you had to.
And then, about 7 years later, you have something that somewhat reminds you of your pre-baby body, but at that point, you don’t care anymore.
I tip my hat to the Duchess, I could never do what she did and what she will likely have to continue to do for the remainder of her family’s life. She is a brave lady. <3