You know you have hit that ‘age’ when you kick your feet up at the end of a ‘long day’ that included only a normal work day and a Costco trip. I had a trip down memory lane today reminiscing about days as a broke college student.
Gone are the days when:
I woke up at 7:00am, went to school all day, worked all afternoon, and partied all night and somehow managed to wake up the next morning just to do it all over again. I am honestly amazed at the fact that I graduated. Let alone with a 3.2 GPA. How the hell did I make it through that?
I relished in things like drinks with the girls, shopping at the mall for some ‘high class hooker’ outfits at Charlotte Russe or Forever 21 and hitting up local shows/concerts of ‘cool’ bands. Which, now I look back and realize, for the most part, my mom and dad had pretty good taste in music when they swore up and down that Rod Stewart and Elton John were legit. It’s true guys, it really is.
Now, my days go something like this:
Wake up at 7:00am, wipe yesterday’s mascara from my eyes and start rolling until i fall off the bed with my feet kicked out in front of me. Creep SNEAKILY past Haydan’s room and try my best not to wake her so I can enjoy my creamer with a splash of coffee….ALONE. Haydan wakes up and insists on having porridge for breakfast, you know, ‘just like the Berenstain Bears’ . I whip out my iPhone to see just what exactly porridge really is…
I start my morning by already deceiving my daughter as I whip out a pack of instant oatmeal stuck far back in the pantry from 2008 and plop it in the microwave. Sure enough, upon her first bite—she cringes her face in the strangest way possible and tells me: ‘it must just be a bear thing, that is disgusting..Can I have some french toast?’ err. We make it through, usually, three different options before she has actually had enough bites of three different dishes that she is full/satisfied. This begins the stack of dishes in the sink…and what later will be dried porridge stuck to the side of a bowl that I will scrub for a long while prior to giving in and tossing the entire bowl in the trash.
My stops at the local mall are no longer Charlotte Russe/Forever 21 for ‘high class hooker outfits’. Now I stop at Origins (that place i’ve walked past 9 million times during my teenage years but never once stepped foot in) and find the newest cleanser or face cream for these new lines that are forming on my face. I am told by the saleswoman that those are, indeed, called ‘W-R-I-N-K-L-E-S-!’ WTF? How did that happen? Apparently being a mother can do that to you. Or having a job. Or, as the chipper Origins saleswoman puts it: ‘Well, as you age, you start developing….’ I cant remember what she said past ‘as you age’ because I stopped listening. I leave with my bullshit bag of old lady crap that I will never remember to use because I am normally asleep long before the thought of a full skin care regimen passes through my brain…
I am now easily excited by stops to ‘mom stores’ like Yankee Candles. I somehow end up walking out having spent $25 on an effin’ candle. Do you know how many high class hooker tank tops you can buy with $25? At least in 2002, you could FOR SURE get two, maybe three. Maybe you could only wear them one night, or in the case of my bachelorette party—-half a night. That’s right. My entire hooker top busted open in the middle of MGM Grand while I was walking solo to the bathroom. I ended up flashing my entire left boob to some guy walking innocently through the hotel casino. #classy.
As an adult, the only thing that is the same about my trips to the mall is the food court. I still get just as excited to see a Sbarro or Hot Dog on a Stick. Mind you, I cannot stuff three slices of pizza down my throat and fit quite as easily into my Costco ‘Mom Jeans’ as I was able to do with my college jeans. Hence, all my posts about yoga pants…
Lastly, as an adult I never ever thought I would be SO excited to visit Costco. The only thing I liked about Costco as a late teen/early 20-something-year-old-woman were the SAMPLES. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a good sample to this day. Today I enjoyed three different types of bundt cake but made it abundantly clear to the sample chef that I would definitely not be purchasing. I am not sure that I will ever have a need for that much bundt cake. Unless, I randomly birth 18 kids tomorrow.
I went to Costco today to grab ‘coffee and lemons’ which naturally resulted in me spending more money than I’d make in two weeks during my college years… and I didn’t even purchase a drop of alcohol. I think that was the only time I’d ever step foot into a Costco when I was in college. I’d beg my mom to take me and buy me enough liquor for a birthday party I was throwing…that also included a male stripper dressed as a Domino’s Pizza delivery guy. (True story). I’d never have imagined ten years ago that my Costco purchases nowadays would consist of area rugs and accent pillows, succulent plants, organic coffee and strawberries, and enough meat to last me a month. Even more so, I’d never have thought I’d enjoy it as much as I do! Is there really anything more fun than going to Costco…ALONE?!?!?!?!
Now I sit on the couch at 5:00 in the afternoon with my feet kicked up….TOTALLY EXHAUSTED! I do grown up things like change lightbulbs and take out the garbage and pay bills (sometimes). I never understood why my parents went to bed by 9:00pm. Now, as an adult, I am lucky to make it to 9:00pm. Some nights its hard to stay up just until my kid is asleep! I’ve actually fallen asleep prior to her only to awake to her tapping me in the forehead with her pointer finger.
It was a fun trip down memory lane looking at photos of my college years and being reminded that I am actually a real life grown up now. While ‘those were the days’ sentiments play in my head, I am endlessly made aware that these are the days….where my little one asks me to make her porridge for breakfast like the Berenstain Bears or tells me she wants to start taking showers over baths because it’s fine to pee when in the shower…
These are the days, these are the days!
Help A Girl Out and Click the Link to Vote for Me!
*You can exit out as soon as the screen pops up*