Superwoman

 

 Justin and I were getting ready for dinner and heard a knock at our door. I opened the door to a frantic mom that I’d never met telling me that she lived next door and her three year old had locked himself in his room.  She was beyond hysterical. I said “No problem! My husband works on crap with tools all day, we got this!” Justin ran and grabbed his manly tools and I, naturally, ran to the bathroom and grabbed a few of my ‘woman tools’.

With the image of this little boy in my head, I quickly sifted through my womanly things that every man thinks are completely useless.

Justin: Tool box equipped for any emergency an his man muscles and understanding of how all tool work.

Me: bobby pins, a bristle thingy that cleans between the teeth and gums, a q-tip with the tip cut off, and my handy dandy eyebrow scissors (a must for anyone with out of control eyebrows). All the while dressed in my grandpa t-shirt, bra-less and in some ridiculous sweatpant shorts… which, as a note to self is never a good idea to wear when you don’t shave your legs regularly.

We arrive to a very upset little boy trapped behind a seemingly harmless door. I let Justin get to work on the doorknob while I lay my face down on the floor, ass high in the sky, and plant my face as far down into the carpet so I can peer under the one inch gap between the carpet and the door. I see a little fella laying on the ground and I introduce myself. I tell him we have this all under control and to take a few deep breathes. I ask him about his toys I can vaguely see through the tiny crevice, all the while I can feel cat hair poking into my eyeball. His poor momma is freaking out at this point but the little boy calms down and waves to me as I ask him about himself and his toys. Justin has a hard time with his ‘man tools’ and says he is going to run back to the house to get his Allen/Charles/Phillip…something rather wrench.

I decide to give my bobby pins a try to no luck. I go back down on the floor to talk to my new friend as we await Justin. By this point, the woman’s husband comes home (to the strange woman with her big bottom high in the air and her face planted on the floor up to the bottom of the door talking to her son, bra-less. Yep. Quite an interesting introduction.) He ruffles through some of his ‘man tools’ and Justin comes back and says that he has something that will open the door up. Justin tries again and again and can’t get it while the dad is practicing on the other bedroom door to open the lock with his tools. I tell Justin to ”move over cowboy, it’s this mommas turn”. I try my cut off q-tip to no avail and then grab my trusty eyebrow scissors and dig those Tweezerman suckers hard into that doorknob and turn it firmly. VIOLA! Door opens! As I look up, I see this adorable little guy laying on the floor looking at me with bewildering eyes. I look at him with a happy smile, put my arms out and say “Hey! There you are! I’m Ashley, it’s nice to meet you!” He peels himself off the floor and runs and jumps right into my arms.

It was a powerful, unforgettable hug! His momma is crying and crying and I hand the little guy over to his poor momma, who I could see was absolutely terrified for her son. I turn to shake the hand of her husband and tell him it was a pleasure meeting him and his family, and I turn to the mom to do the same while she cradles her sweet boy. She gives me a look with tears in her eyes and asks, “Can I give you a hug?” I say “Absolutely!” and I give her a big momma to momma hug!

My VERY long story goes to prove that men may be big and manly with their tools, muscles, tattoos, and five o’clock shadow. However, women, without their proper upper undergarments, hairy legs, and ‘useless’ woman tools can sometimes save the day too! Maybe I am patting myself on the back a bit, but it was quite awesome to see that little guy run to me, a perfect stranger, and wrap his arms around me. So, yes, power to all us gals out there! We can beat the men with our ridiculous tools that they will never understand while they properly place all their man tools back into their toolbox! Woo hoo! Go LADIES!

 

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