Nine one Inch Nails

I had a very small mission on Friday afternoon and it seemed beyond simple. Unfortunately, it was quite the opposite…

Haydan has been out of town all week with the grands visiting and having a great time so that momma bear could get some work done. It seems that working from home and having a 6 year old as my ‘office assistant’ during summer break was not as thought-out as it could have been. Needless to say, I have been getting a ton of work done while she has been away and feel that I have accomplished more work this week than I have since May. Oh August, you cannot come soon enough.

 

Anyhow, before Haydan left to go on her little ‘vacay’, I decided to treat her to a pedicure and a manicure. Getting our nails done together is a little thing we do, just as a lot of other mom/daughter duos, and it’s a little treat that I take her for when her behavior is good and we need a little ‘girl time’.

 

We went last Thursday and had pedicures and manicures (I had a fill for my acrylics—I know, I am so 80’s—shut up, I like my pretty nails). I used to be religious about which nail salon I visited but then I saw that the lady I went to wasn’t cleaning her tools, so I started cheating on my nail technician and hitting up other nails salons.

 

I haven’t found anyone I am deeply in ‘nail-love’ with so I just bounce around depending on what part of the city I am in. Unfortunately, this place didn’t do the greatest job on my nails and I broke a nail a few days ago and chipped another. So, on Friday, I figured that I would pop in and ask if they could fix the nail that popped off and the one that had slightly chipped.

(I realize how ridiculous this post sounds, but I am going to lay out the conversation for you because it was too insane not to share this story–Not to mention, all my blog posts border on the same level of ridiculousness).

 

Ashley: Hello, I am here to get two nails repaired that broke.

 

((She grabs my hand to take a look))

 

Manager Nail Salon Lady: You need a fill. 

 

Ashley: I just had them done 8 days ago. I do not need them done again. I usually wait 3 weeks.

 

Manager Nail Salon Lady: Well, whoever did these…

 

Ashley: ….LETTTT me interrupt you righttttt there. I just had them done 8 days ago..HERE…AT YOUR NAIL SALON. 

 

Manager Nail Salon Lady: Oh.

 

Ashley: Yes, how much to fix the 2 fingernails?

 

Manager Nail Salon Lady: Seven dollars.

 

Ashley: Ok, fine.

 

Manager Nail Salon Lady: No, $8.00, it will be eight dollars.

 

Ashely: You just said seven??

 

Manager Nail Salon Lady: Well, now it’s $8.00

 

Ashley: Whatever. You’re screwing with me, but whatever—let’s get this overpriced show on the road.

 

 

I go and sit down and wait for one of her employees to come and get started. The employee arrives five minutes later to do my dreadfully overpriced nail repair and she grabs my hands. She looks at me and says: ‘I will only fix this one. I am not fixing the other one. You need a fill’

 

I was so annoyed at this point that I looked this new woman in the eye and said: ‘I AM NOT HERE TO GET A NAIL FILL. I WAS JUST HERE TO GET A FILL 8 DAYS AGO. OBVIOUSLY THAT DIDNT WORK OUT SO WELL AND IT APPEARS THIS ISNT EITHER. PLEASE FIX WHATEVER YOU WILL ACTUALLY FIX SO I CAN GET OUT OF HERE. I AM IN A HURRY. Please. Pretty please.”

 

She then proceeds to ask me the color of my nail polish.

 

Ashley: I have no idea..you mean, like the name of the actual nail polish color?

 

Employee: No, I need the number. We write numbers on the nail polish. I need the number.

 

Ashley: You’ve got to be kidding me. First of all, I didn’t know there were NUMBERS on the nail polishes and second, sometimes I forget my own birthday, or how old I am, you think I am going to remember the NUMBER of a nail polish? It is orange. Let’s start there.

 

Employee: I’ll be back. 

 

((leaves again…comes back a few minutes later VERY annoyed with me))

 

Employee: Is this it?

 

Me: Sure, let’s go with that. One off colored nail won’t kill me.

 

She finished my single fingernail and as she was applying the ‘top coat’ the Manger Nail Salon Lady comes over and said something to her in Vietnamese and then looked at me and grabbed both my hands. She asked me why I only had one of the nails done. I said: ‘Uhm, that would be because the lady you assigned to fix my nails refused to fix both of them.’

 

She started yelling at the employee that denied doing both nails and told me that they would do both of them. I had been sitting there for a long time and been putting up with far too much bullshit by this point, so I told her no. I told her: ‘No, I want to leave. I want to leave the very minute my thumb fingernail is dry. It’s fine. I can live with a cracked nail. Actually, I am regretting not living with two cracked nails at this point. It’s okay.. Really. It is fine.’

 

Manager Nail Salon Lady: It’s fine… It is fine….?

 

Ashley: REALLY….IT’S FINE. I really want to leave. It’s okay. I am fine. Really. It’s fine. Everything is fine.

 

I went to pay the Manager Nail Salon Lady for the service (singular) and I got a discount because her nail tech./employee refused to do both nails. Naturally, she charged me $5.00…(for one fingernail). I handed her my debt card.

 

Manager Nail Salon Lady: We do not accept debt/credit for anything under $20.00. There is an ATM right in the back corner.

 

Ashley: Yeah, Right. I know how that works. It charges me $2.50 and then my bank charges me $2.50. I am not walking out of here having spent $10 to fix ONE NAIL. I have a bank deposit to make anyways (as I showed her a stack of business checks I had in my purse) and my bank is right there (literally across the street). I will be right back with your five dollars.

 

Manager Nail Salon Lady: No..no. You cant leave without paying.

 

Ashley: I AM TRYING TO PAY YOU!!! You wont take my card!!! I only have $2.00 cash on me. Here hold this until I get back. (I handed her my debt card that I was trying to use to pay in the first place.)

 

Manager Nail Salon Lady: No, give me your drivers license.

 

Ashley: Are you serious? This is insane. Whatever. You better hope I don’t get pulled over on the way there.

 

No, I didn’t get pulled over on the way there. However, I did get asked for my DRIVERS LICENSE to take money out of my account. Instead, I decided to share with the bank tellers the story as to why exactly I didn’t have my license on me. They deemed it good enough to not need my license and they gave me my five dollars. We all had a good laugh and I was on my way with my five dollar bill to retrieve my license that was being held hostage.

 

I arrived back to the nail salon and upon entering the Manager Nail Salon Lady and another employee sat in front of me at the cash register chatting. They were speaking Vietnamese so I did not know what they were saying. Probably a plot to drown me in the pedicure tub the next time I come back…They continued to chat for a good three minutes. I was trying to be nice, calm, composed, and not lose my cool.She put her hand out mid-conversation as if to motion for me to give her the money. I tried to ((politely)) interrupt to ask for my license back. THEY KEPT TALKING. IGNORED ME. I slapped the five bucks down and saw my license on top of the register and reached over the counter and grabbed it, looked her in the eyes, and said ‘I AM TAKING THIS BACK!!!’.

 

Moral of the stupid story: Don’t ever go to the nail salon without CASH ON HAND, or, don’t wear acrylic nails in the 21st century….it’s an 80’s thing anyways.

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