I grew up going to the fair in Arizona. The Arizona State Fair was…well, lets just say it was a place that I was not allowed to attend without an adult until the age of 17. It was a little scary and local news channels always blasted the latest gang related shooting or blowout that happened that evening at the fair. Needless to say, I was not an avid fair attendee, well, accept for the one time my best friend and I hitched a ride to a Third Eye Blind concert….that just so happened to be at the AZ State Fair.
I now live in San Diego and visiting the Del Mar Fair is just as much of a ritual as hitting up the horse races or visiting the beach. No one bats an eyelash when you tell them you are going to the fair with your family.
We made the decision to buy the super sized costco pack of tickets at the fair and I was easily able to coerce Justin into the decision when I told him that the package included four drink tickets. Little did he know ‘drink tickets’ meant soft drinks, not BEER tickets.
Regardless, we were reading to go and on our way to hit up one of the most fun places to visit in San Diego over the summer. I nearly peed my pants in excitement thinking of all the churros I was going to ingest, and pop corn I would shove down my throat, and the hoards of Tums I would enjoy on the ride home. I arrived at the fair and the first thing I saw was this gigantic sign that spoke right to me:
If you do not know me, or you do know me and do not read any of my blog posts, well, first of all, you need to catch up. Second, if you do know me and read my blog, then you know that I have a love for bacon that quite nearly equates to the love I have for my first and only born. I cannot help it. The bacon craze sincerely got the best of me and I have never looked back. If you remember any blogs prior to this, I am quite certain there is one referencing me being late to school pick-up because I was so involved in perfecting my bacon recipe that I forgot (or was just a weeee bit late) to pick my child up from school.
Once Justin saw this sign, he knew he was in big trouble. I saw him pull his wallet out and hide a few of the bucks he had pulled from the ATM because he knew BAD things were happening. We had hardly walked four more steps into the fair ground before this happened:
I now had a purse full of chocolate covered bacon but bacon is just a treat. Bacon is most definitely not a suitable meal. A grown woman needs at least one (or two, or three) meal/s to fulfill her before she takes on a day at the fair.
After I stuffed my face with a hamburger and a polish sausage and some fried pickles, we were off to gamble..I mean ‘play’ games for fifty cent toys mass manufactured in China. I now had a full stomach (with chocolate bacon for later backup) and was now equipped with enough energy to haggle with the ticketmaster as to how many tickets it takes to get my family of three on a roller coaster that looks like it could quite possibly fall apart at ANY moment. (My haggling techniques did not work and I did pay 18 fucking tickets for a roller coaster ride.)
However, what came next was by far the best thing i have experienced in my life. We thought ‘what better time to take Haydan on her first real roller coaster ride, you know, after ingesting a cheese burger, a polish sausage, and spears of fried pickles. (FYI My daughter has a set of pipes on her, I’d turn the volume down a few notches before viewing/hearing this madness):
Needless to say, when we pulled back around to exit from the ‘Crazy Mouse’ roller coaster, Haydan was in tears. This definitely made me feel bad seeing as how I was hysterically laughing throughout the entire ride. I mean, I am sure it was scary for a six year old but COME ON, that was funny!
Well, Haydan wasn’t as interested in the ‘newest food sensation’ that is BACON(!!) cotton candy, so I let it go seeing her recent brush with a coronary (from the roller coaster, not the 6000 calorie lunch we ingested hours earlier) and I told her to eat her heart out and go with whatever cotton candy flavor that tickled her fancy.
We lugged all the prizes, and when I say ‘prizes’, I mean the stuffed animals that we emptied our bank accounts for, and we were off to the car.
Apparently we ended up parking on the far end of the horse track so we were able to gallop all the way around the entire horse track to get back to our vehicle. The little trot sort of put in perspective the hard work those horses put in when they go galloping around that track so we can place a bet and win a few bucks. Next time I’m at a race, I will be the first one screaming from the sidelines: ‘SLOW DOWN! Take a break! Want a bite of some bacon flavored cotton candy??!!’
(**In case you are unfamiliar, the Del Mar Fair is at the same location as the Del Mar Racetracks where the horses race. This year they had us park on the actual track and walk around the track to nearby where the fair was being held**)
I can successfully say I made it all the way home without throwing up any of the 12 mini doughnuts, chocolate covered bacon, polish sausage, deep fried pickle spears, cheeseburger, coleslaw, baked beans, and cotton candy I inhaled while there. Haydan seems pretty impressed with the trip overall as well.
Did I mention I still have a carmel covered apple in my purse for later?
Yeah….Maybe I’ll wait for the Tums to kick in before I take this bad boy on…
I will leave you with this last bit of awesomeness that the secret ‘Crazy Mouse Rollercoaster’ camera captured of us while we took the ride of our life:
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