Sharing a bathroom with a 7 year old is FANTASTIC!!
When my family and I were looking for a new home a couple years ago, we had one thing that we really wanted: a home where we could all have a little space to get the hell away from one another from time to time.
We had been crammed into a very small space for an entire year and realized that if we didn’t find someplace larger so we could separate a wee bit from time to time, someone was going to claw their eyeballs out. That someone was me.
We landed on the perfect home. Great area, wonderful landlords, three bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, room for our young one, ‘Barb Marley’, to frolic; it was lovely.
The only downside was that the master bedroom’s connected bathroom only had a shower (no tub) and a small vanity with only one sink. This was the first time in the 8 years of marriage that my husband and I would share one sink, one set of under-counter cabinets, and one space to throw all our bathroom shit. (First world problems, I know.) I wasn’t too phased about it, but I could tell by my husband’s face that this could potentially be problematic.
I have no idea why…
After living in the home for about, mmm, three hours, my husband came up with a great idea: I should relocate to the other bathroom in the home. The one that now belonged to our child, the self-named ‘Barb Marley’. Seeing how beautiful the bathroom is, that Barb Marley doesn’t have too many bathroom products, and the fact that this bathroom offers a tub (baths are my favorite), I moved right on in!
Barb Marley and I have been sharing a bathroom now for over two years, Today, I realized that my husband owes me; he owes me BIG TIME. These are a few of the things that have resulted in my sharing a bathroom with Barb:
Me: Barb, why are my tweezers in your room?
Barb: Oh, I was cleaning my toenails with them.
Me: Barb, why is my razor in a new location?
Barb: Well, I was shaving.
Barb: Don’t worry, I started with my arms to make sure it wouldn’t hurt.
Barb: And it DIDN’T! SO, I shaved my legs too! My legs are really hairy.
Me: Barb, why is your hair so greasy?
Barb: Oh, I used your new hair spray.
Me: That isn’t hair spray. Hair spray…SPRAYS. That is lotion. You have lotion in your hair.
Barb: Hm. Seems fine to me.
Me: Barb, have you seen those really tiny little scissors that I normally keep in the medicine cabinet?
Me: Yes, those. Why do you have them?
Barb: I was trimming my Barbie’s hair with them. They are the perfect size!
Me: They are also the perfect size to trim my eyebrows, and ironically, what they were designed for…
Me: Hey Barb, have you seen that nail polish that I bought the other day when we were at Target?
Barb: Yes, I sure have! I painted my nails, my toe nails, and I was also wondering if we could paint the dogs nails? I know they are boys, but this color is sort of boyish. I think they would like it. Madden wears a sweater with a heart on it, I am sure he would love it.
Me: Yes, me too. I am certain he would love it. Can I have that back please?
Me: Oh WOW. What is that smell?!
Barb: Your perfume!! Doesn’t it smell AMAZING?
Me: Yes, yes it does. How many sprays did you spray?
Barb: Just a few. Like ten.
As you can see from the above, sharing a bathroom with little Barb Marley has been none other than a BLAST.
I walked through Target the other day and they had those little fire-proof safes on sale. You know, the ones that are meant to house weapons? Well, I’ve concluded it is time for me to purchase one of those, better yet, send my husband to do so. I will put all of my products inside that I don’t want little Barb Marley to touch and not only will my bathroom be cleaner and a bit more organized, it will also be Barb-proofed.
See? Bathroom sharing is SO MUCH FUN!!!