As some of you may know, our family lives in a neighborhood that is occupied, predominately, by people over the age of 80.
They are all lovely people. Truly.
One day, a little old lady stopped Justin as he was pulling into the driveway to let us know that we were doing a disservice to our rose bushes by pruning them incorrectly. She offered to prune them for us (so we wouldn’t murder them), and promised to hand deliver any viable ones to our front door step.
See? They are lovely people.
Now, sometimes, our neighbors die. Well, no, a lot of times they die. And, that is quite sad. We often have estate sales in our neighborhood, and I’ll be honest, they make me a little weepy each time I see the sign pop up.
It took me a long while before I was ever able to actually go to one, and that experience is a whole other story that you can read about here.
However, there are a lot of interesting, and hilarious things that happen when living in Senior Citizenville.
For instance, our local grocery store doesn’t just sell flowers in the floral department, they sell fake floral grave stone memorials—with stakes to mount into the grass and all. The first time Justin and I walked past that section in the grocery store, we both did a double take.
Next up, you’d be surprised how diligent these old folks are with their privacy and security—which, GOOD FOR THEM!
One day, I had one of my little old lady neighbor’s UPS packages delivered to my home by accident. I casually walked over to her house and rang the bell. I could see her tiny body through the glass as she asked who was there. I introduced myself, through the closed door, and let her know that I had received her package at my doorstep by accident. After talking to me through the closed door and giving her all information about myself including my name, my address, who I was, what I was doing at her home (and pretty much everything short of my social security number and bra size), she opened the door so I could give her the mail package that had accidentally been delivered to my home. She was adorable. She told me an entire story about how Almay only carries her foundation color online, so she has to order it that way. I won’t lie. I was impressed, she was surely well into her 80’s and buying her make-up on-line. That IS impressive.
Next up was the lady who drove off with her purse on the hood of her car. Justin found her purse in the middle of the street right out front of our house. Credit cards, a driver’s license, a lipstick, and a Catholic Saint prayer card– sprawled all over the asphalt. We collected her belongings, found the address on her drivers license, and then we walked over to return it to her. After some inquisitive questions as to why we had her purse, and trying ever so politely to explain that she must have drove off with it on the roof, she opened the door and we gave her purse back to her.
Well, Saturday topped the cake, friends.
Just as Justin and Barb were taking off to Target, we heard a bang. We all walked outside and found this:
I used a pretend car as the real car, because that would be pretty mean to take pictures of what really happened…AS it was happening.
So, first she managed to take out some type of cable communications box….but then she kept going….
Of course, many people ran over to make sure she way okay. There were roughly five or six of us and we were all asking if she was alright, and how in the world this had happened.
So, she explained it to us: “Well, I am on my way to a party, and I had a bunch of appetizers in the front seat that I am bringing to the party. Some of the food started to slip, so I leaned to catch it….and I sort of veered off…”
That she sure did.
She assured us that she was alright and just as we were all trying to figure out a way to get her car OFF the electrical/communication box, her incredibly sweet daughter pulled up in her car.
She asked her mom what had happened, and she explained the situation to her, too.
After explaining what had happened, she asked that we help her clear her car out. I asked what we were taking out and she said “the food.”
Her daughter asked her why she needed to take out all the food from the car (as 5 men were diligently trying to find every way possible to get her car off this communication box that was completely wedged under the undercarriage of her car, without completely destroying her engine) and she said “Well, I made all this food! I am still going to the party! Hand me your keys!”
And before we knew it— off she went to her party in her daughter’s car.
I laughed. I laughed really hard.
I looked at her daughter and said “Hey! Good for your mom! She’s got a party to go to, and she sure as hell isn’t letting this slow her down!”
Justin grabbed a huge piece of scrap wood that we had in our garage to cover the gigantic hole in the ground (from where the street sign once stood) so the guys could turn the car wheels and get the car off the electrical/communication hub. Her husband happened to actually be the one who manuevered it off without causing any more damage–although, I am quite certain there was a certain something leaking from the bottom of the engine….
We grabbed a broom, swept up all the rocks, and went back to our day–while our friend who took out the entire street sign was off to enjoy her party and homemade hors d’oeuvres.
I mean, really, who needs street signs? I already know where I live anyways.
LOL. Old people are funny. I am going to be an AWESOME old person one day. I just know it.
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